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Question by Lisa: Help! I need ADULT relationship advice?
basically i KNOW this guy ive been friends with for 4 years really liked me. I really liked him. we got really close. we decided not to “date” but “talk” while we were in school bc we didn’t want to put so much pressure on our relationship when were so busy (we are both juniors in college just an hour away) but i got a little insecure about him sometimes not texting me back. but i know hes busy with school, work, sports, roommates, etc.
anyways we had a fight and he said that he didn’t like the way i was acting and that it made him not interested in me anymore. he was so mad, he said “idk if we can be friends anymore.” so, i apologized and explained that i was just trying to keep him a close friend. basically, i thought he was texting everyone from back home but me, but he told me in our fight that he texted me 10 times more than anyone else! Idk if he really is uninterested. he blows ups sometimes and says stuff he doesn’t mean.
he texted me back after i apologized and said “its fine. sorry for accusing you” and then i said i was going to bed and he texted “night”
I decided to give him some space…5 days. i texted him “whats up” and he said “at the football game!” i didnt answer bc i was busy and i am trying not to be that girl who wont leave a guy alone to watch the game.
i waited a couple more days and told him a funny story. he said “haha thats funny.” i didnt answer, bc i just don’t wanna over do it at first. i want to slowly get back to where we were (“talking”) before.
I told him a couple days later that i was going to a jersey shore/pitt game party and asked him if i should dress up as pajama snooki or club snooki…this is the light funny conversation im trying to do now. he answered and said “club snooki haha”
I didnt respond but a day later, at like 1:30 at night, i texted him saying “i can’t stop throwing up and youre the one i always tell when im sick. i didn’t even drink. freaking eat n park and he replyed back right after saying “chrisssy noo feel better.” idk i thought it might have been a good sign that he responded so late on a friday night. i know it sounds gross i told him but we both always tell each other when were sick or whatever.
I always feel like its a good sign when a guy says your name in a text and for some reason. are things looking up? and is it good that ive cut back on the texting and usually make it so that he is the last one who texts me so i don’t seem desperate? I
We really were close all summer. he broke up with his gf when he decided that he liked me and we used to each send like 50 to 100 texts per day to each other. i know that i wasn’t a summer fling to him, bc he would not start something up with me since our circle of friends is interwoven.
Do you think he’ll reconsider if i show him im not clingy? like, my plan is to text him like 3 days a week instead of like 6 or 7, keep my texts light and stress free, and let him know that im not just sitting at home thinking about him (by telling him im going out with so and so or that im busy, etc).
I really like him, and i know that if i got another chance, i would not cling to him. i learned my lesson. but the first thing i need to do is get back on track. ideas?
Best answer:
Answer by Kristen
keep this in mind, you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable texting him, it should come natural you shouldn’t even have to plan or think about it, which is what your doing,
i could be very very wrong here, but your lets talk not date thing, sounds like bs to me !!!!!!
he could be keeping you around as another option but is in to other people,
and also you mention you used to text alot like 50 to 100 texts,
usually when a guy is interested he wants to call you constantly and know everything….
but hes lack of at this time is like a red flag to me…
i understand why you would be insecure because you go to different schools and theres always that chances hes cheating….
heres my advice
he seems to have a temper, also he could be guilty, but the more you show your true insecurity the more hel push you away, hes in college and probably doesnt want to be tied down…
so you got to be calm and collective,
this will be really hard for you i know but you have to ignore him!!!! for at least a week and see what happens im sorry to tell you that,
but it always works and ill tell you why, its not that im telling you to play mind games its just that
if he really cares about you he will miss your texts and see wats up!!!!!!!! but if your texting him and hes not texting you first theres no chance to know….
ill end with the fact that maybe he really does care, but you owe it yourself to try and consider what ive said because you deserve someone you can just feel comfortable with!!!
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